23 weeks with Baby Y

I'm 99.9% sure this is my last pregnancy. I'm 37. Robert has told me so. And I'm suspicious that my max capacity hovers somewhere around three kids, a full-time job, and a dog. I love babies so much. Their softness, their smell, their chubby thighs, the way they snuggle up to you and then let out that little sigh of contentment. I love tiny clothes and board books, the parade of firsts (rolling, crawling, walking, words) and the pure joy of babies. God bless babies.

Todddlers are pretty great too. 

Let me introduce you to my last baby. We call him Baby Y because Harper was Baby X and because Robert used to say "Why do we need a third kid?" to which I would reply "Why not?" Baby Y's timing was meticulously planned. I wanted him two years younger than Harper; they'll be 25 months apart.

No such thing as perfect spacing, but still... 

We found out Baby Y was a boy when I was only 11 weeks pregnant. I'm what the medical community refers to as "advanced maternal age" which means I get a bevy of non-invasive, accurate genetic testing done for free. I've always been a bit on the fence about genetic testing. On the one hand, there is an unsavory "seek and destroy" eugenics-y feel to it that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On the other, information is power and allows you to mentally prepare for things that may be going wrong with your pregnancy. It's a toss-up. This time I succumbed, mainly to put my advanced maternal mind at ease and get a sneak peak at the gender while younger moms have to wait for the 20 week ultrasound. [Cue cackling laughter] After the cell-free DNA testing, the geneticist or technician or whoever sends you a card in the mail (or via pick-up if you work on campus and are impatient like me) with "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" It was a boy.

Nine weeks later, at the 20 week ultrasound waiting for first pictures

V shaped feet

Profile - head on the right, black circle on the left is Baby Y's stomach, smaller black smudge just above is the heart. 

People ask me how this pregnancy is every single day, and my response is always dependent on how I'm feeling that minute, which often has nothing to do with the pregnancy. If you catch me after four consecutive meetings on a day when my house is a mess, pregnancy is exhausting. If you catch me at the park with Harper on a beautiful sunny day, pregnancy is a breeze. Truthfully, it's been fine. I was tired and nauseous the first trimester but not debilitatingly so. The second trimester has been a snap. And I'll probably feel like a whale in the third trimester while savoring my last 14 weeks of uninterrupted sleep.

Baby Y is a lot bigger than Harper and a much bigger kicker. While Harper's measurements were always teeny tiny in utero and Aidan's were huge, Baby Y is more in the 50-70th percentile. His kicks are a lot bigger and more noticeable early on too. I don't know if this is Baby Y or my own lack of willpower, but I've also been eating way more this time around. I wish I was one of those people who was like, "Whatever, I'm pregnant" but the truth is that watching those numbers slide up the scale makes me feel increasingly despondent. Right now I'm the weight I was when I delivered Aidan and five pounds less than when I delivered Harper, and I still have almost four months left! While I wish I cared less, I have a closet full of clothes I love that must fit again someday. No way am I wasting that investment. Oh well, that will be a blog post for early 2018.

There are two new things I really love about this pregnancy. I love that moment when I tell someone I'm pregnant and they say, "Your first?" and I say, "My third." At that moment I feel like a war-hardened veteran of motherhood. I don't get the squeals of excitement that accompany a first pregnancy. Instead I get something better. Respect. Three kids may be small by Utah standards but it's not for the faint of heart either. Even better, I actually feel like a pro. I don't check weekly updates on what fruit size my baby corresponds to this week or mommy blogs about being pregnant. This is my third tour; I could write those blogs by now. While I'm sure this baby will bring his own curveballs and unique personality, I'm ready. I have a sleep plan, which will hopefully work as well with Baby Y as it did with Harper. I've nursed for 26 cumulative months and trust my body to provide. I know the gut-wrenching pain that will accompany returning to work, but I also know it will get better when Baby Y hits the one year mark and will feel almost completely okay when my kids are all in school. I've never had a baby and a toddler at the same time and while I'm sure that will bring a level of exhaustion I've not yet experienced, I'm ready and I know it goes fast. Bring it.

Outside of the Chicago Public Library

At our local park.

The second thing I love about this pregnancy is that it requires virtually no preparation. No baby showers. No construction projects to move Aidan downstairs. No figuring out childcare. No Pinterest boards to plan a nursery. Sorry Baby Y, you get to inherit Harper's girl nursery. Them's the breaks. Here is my to-do list to get ready for Baby Y. 1) Buy a double stroller. 2) Buy a bassinet and move the glider into my room. Done.

I guess I should throw out some dates for posterity. I found out I was pregnant on February 26th at four weeks pregnant. Found out that Baby Y is a boy on April 19th. Felt the first kicks around 16/17 weeks. My due date is November 3rd but I've scheduled my c-section a week early on October 27th. Heather wants me to reschedule for November 1st since that's her birthday, and I'm considering. I get nervous about the last week of pregnancy though since both of my babies, but especially Aidan, have had low amniotic fluid near the end, which can be fatal even though I'm watched pretty closely. At the very end of pregnancy, I just feel safer when they are out in the world where I can keep an eye on them.

That's where we are at this point! I have no belly shots or gender reveal party photos to share because, again, third kid. But we are super excited to welcome this little guy to our family!