In Praise of Moms, Friends, and Minivans

I am always amazed at the capacity of women and especially of moms. Working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, soccer moms, Pinterest moms, all of them. After this last weekend, I have a particular admiration for moms of multiples because I got to spend the weekend marveling at my friend Natalie who gets her own blog post for traveling to Salt Lake City with seven month old twins just to visit me. Want your own blog post? Do something equally Herculean, and I guarantee you at least 500 words.

I never know who is reading this blog, so I feel compelled to introduce you to Natalie and her family. I met Natalie eight years ago when our boys became friends at Surf City Christian preschool in Huntington Beach. Natalie's son, Ethan, was three, Aidan had just turned four, and, whether I knew it or not at the time, the wheels were already in motion towards my impending divorce the following January. Miss Danielle, the yellow room teacher, took note that our kids were inseparable and sent home contact information in Aidan's and Ethan's information buckets -- which Natalie and I later referred to lovingly as the spam buckets -- so we could get the boys together for play dates. Early details are a little fuzzy for me. I think Natalie emailed me, which led to some chit chat on the playground, which led to the origins of our friendship.

Natalie was young, but impressive. She was doing an obviously stellar job raising Ethan, running a hip and thriving photography business, and finishing her undergraduate degree with hopes of going on to become a nurse practitioner. Natalie carried herself in a way that intrigued me. She was beautiful but nerdy, hilariously self-effacing, completely devoted to her son while quietly pursuing her own ambitious goals. At 23 years old she had sacrificed quite a bit -- including leaving a prestigious undergraduate university when Ethan was born -- without a trace of martyrdom. I liked her immediately.

For the first six months, we hung out, learned about each other's lives, watched our kids play, and poked gentle fun at the semi-ridiculous mom culture at Surf City Christian (e.g. the early shift power moms in heels vs. the late shift SAHM moms in yoga pants, never the twain shall mix). Not long after we met, I became aware that my personal life had tanked and ended up filing for divorce in early 2010. It was devastating to say the least. But in the midst of that chaos was Natalie, showing up at my house to help assemble Ikea furniture, bringing takeout, watching the boys, and becoming one of my favorite sounding boards. She quietly set an example of single motherhood for me, and I'll never fully be able to express the gratitude for the friendship and support she provided when I needed it the most.

That was a long time ago, obviously. After the initial storm, we just became two people who loved hanging out. We parented, we shopped, we encouraged each other through the remainder of our undergraduate programs. We studied for graduate entrance exams, applied to our master's programs, commiserated about our love lives, and occasionally went out for drinks like normal people our age. We celebrated each other's successes and mourned each other's losses. When I met Robert, no one was a bigger fan of my happiness than Natalie. Over the years, we've finished our degrees, started our professional jobs, watched Aidan and Ethan grow, married amazing men, and had four more babies in close succession. She was one of my bridesmaids, and I had the honor of giving a speech at her wedding. Natalie's friendship is one of the special blessings in my life and one I never plan on taking for granted.

San Diego, 2011

Aidan and Ethan, 2011

Aidan and Ethan with friend Shea, 2010

Camping 2010, Georgetown hoodie indicates I had already met Robert.

Surf City Christian graduation, 2011

Are you kidding me? Look at those faces on the right. 

Natalie's birthday party, 2011

And then my family started to grow, 2011. 

And Natalie's family started to grow (2015)...

And grow (2017) ...

And grow! (2016)

Fast forward eight years, two weddings, and four babies. Natalie, Ethan, and the twins came out to visit me, Robert, Aidan, Harper, and Baby Y last weekend because she is a lunatic willing to fly with 7 month old twins. I was thrilled because it means that we had dedicated catch up time, that I could get to know her new beautiful babies, and she could see my growing belly before Baby Y arrives next month.

Before she arrived, I realized one logistical problem -- Even with missing family members, we don't fit in one car anymore. I needed something to at least accomodate three car seats, two moms, two pre-teens, and an au pair, assuming Robert managed his own transportation. Now, for those of you that follow my Facebook feed, you know minivans have been rolling around in my head for awhile. What better time to pull the trigger? Blog friends, meet my new minivan. It's glorious. Eight seats and 15 cup holders of perfection.

With transportation accounted for, we started our weekend off on the right note.

One of the most amazing features of the weekend was that Robert was willing to take the big kids to do big kid things while Natalie and I moved at a snail's pace and soaked in the babies. While Ethan and Aidan were off four wheeling and doing virtual reality, the girls did almost nothing our first day, which is my idea of a high-quality vacation.

Harper looks so huge next to real babies now! 

The second day we picked things up a bit and left the house a little after 2:00 pm. We met up in Park City with the other half of Nat's beautiful family, and cruised around Main Street for a little while. Harper terrorized a book store and we all enjoyed the last bit of Utah summer warmth. Because Natalie is Natalie, there was also an impromptu photo shoot.

After Park City, we were supposed to meet Robert and the boys up at Camp Tuttle for Wasatch Presbyterian Family Camp where they had already been trekking around most of the day. I checked navigation to see how far away the camp was. 30 minutes? That didn't make any sense. It took 30 minutes to get from our house to Park City. Then I realized navigation was showing me a way to go over the mountain instead of around the mountains on the highways I'm actually familiar with. Intrepidly we tried navigation's way even though it warned us some of the roads weren't paved and it's one of those things that shuts down in the winter.

So we took the road less traveled and ended up seeing some of the most stunning views of my home that I've ever seen. We took no pictures (and I'll tell you no lies), but when I Googled "Guardman Pass" this is what came up, a fairly accurate representation of the road we took, albeit more fall looking than late summer.

Have I told you I love Utah?

So we get to Camp Tuttle, find the fam, take pictures, have dinner, and go home. I hate to say it, but it really was that fast. When you have small children, you are always beating nap time or bedtime or feeding time. You don't linger anywhere terribly long that isn't equipped with all the things needed to make mom and babies comfortable. But, as always, Camp Tuttle was beautiful and holds a special place in my heart.

Aidan and Ethan (2017)

Natalie and her beautiful au pair Josie from Brazil.

We also did some unplanned maternity photos. Last time with Harper, we did the full shebang. This baby gets shortchanged left and right, but at least I have a few cute photos to commemorate the belly before Baby Y gets here.

This picture is actually a cheater I took two weeks after Natalie's trip. But I like it and doubt I will do another pre-baby blog post, so I thought I would sneak it in here. 

We drove home after a long day and got the babies all settled in. Around 9:00 pm, I get a text from Jon, Natalie's husband, saying that he's going to pick Natalie up for a surprise date at 10:00 pm. Now 10:00 pm is like a bazillion hours past my bedtime lately, but to Natalie's credit, when surprised at 10:00 pm with husband, flowers, and date opportunity, she jumped on it. Apparently these newlyweds, who got pregnant with twins minutes after "I Do," have not been on a date in like 18 months.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention how food factored into the weekend. The twins are allergic to pretty much everything with a food allergen. Wheat, dairy, soy, nuts, everything. As a nursing mom, that meant Natalie couldn't eat anything except meat (no seasonings except salt and pepper), vegetables, some fruits, and rice. Which, on one hand, is why she looks so fabulous seven months after having twins, on the other hand means she has taken no pleasure in food since the day they were born. Days before their arrival in Utah, the twins finally tried a hypoallergenic formula brand that worked for them, but they were still nursing a couple times a day as well. Date night with Jon marked the end of seven long months nursing twins and Natalie's first real meal without restriction. I wish I could have been there to see it. I was there the next day when she got to have cheese, chocolate, and bread for the first time. She took a bite of Harper's chocolate chip cookie and literally started crying.

Since Josie had never been to Salt Lake, we also did an obligatory trip downtown to the Temple, which is beautiful and sacred as always.

It was amazing to see my friend and get a real check-in on how life is going for both of us. Most of my LA friend catch-ups happen over a dinner or over the phone, and, for me, it's much more preferable to take three days to talk and laugh over where we're at. Thank you for visiting Natalie, and for being wonderful, terrific, incredible you!