2020 Gratitude Journal

As the year draws to a close and the first vaccines are administered, it seems like a good time to reflect on what mattered in 2020. I'm undoubtedly a different person going into 2021, and there is a surreal quality about knowing how frequently we will look back on this year, for better or worse. This is the year that will make every plane trip, dinner out, family get together, movie theater, amusement park, concert, and play that much sweeter in 2021 and beyond. But even in this objectively terrible year, there is so much to be grateful for. My little family is healthy and employed and housed and relatively secure. What's usually a given feels like staggering abundance. Here are some of the main things I am grateful for in 2020: 

Health - 2020 made me painfully aware of the fragility of bodies and the longterm effects of diet, exercise, and stress. While health is not destiny - my first friend to end up on a ventilator this year previously ran marathons - there was an obvious benefit in a pandemic to being young and fit. I can't control my age, but I can control my other pillars of health - diet, exercise, stress, and sleep. Between stress eating and fear of going to the gym/yoga studio, I wasn't terribly kind to my body in 2020, but I have a renewed commitment to caring for my body in the New Year to give it the best shot possible of beating not only coronavirus, but heart disease, cancer, flu, etc. 

Family - I do not know how people made it through this year without family. In the beginning of the pandemic, I envied my single friends' ability to read books, learn a new language, or binge watch Netflix, but as the days and weeks turned to months, I became increasingly grateful for my built in pod. I felt a lot of things in 2020, but I never felt lonely because I was nearly constantly surrounded by the four people I loved most in the world. If anything, in the beginning, I was dying for alone time. I would put Harper and Ashton to sleep and sternly warn Robert and Aidan to give me an hour to myself. After a month or so, I felt nothing but gratitude for having my people, who I genuinely enjoy being around even when they run me ragged. 

One of a million sweet moments with these two. The look of love that Ashton gives Harper is #relationshipgoals

My Quaranteam.

Ten year anniversary is coming in 2021!

FotoFly with Santa 2020

Staycation at Snowbird August 2020

My 40th birthday at Bear Lake

Thanksgiving 2020

On the way back from Kennecott Copper Mines - Fall 2020

Temple Quarry. One of Ashton's final trips in the baby backpack. 

My house - Home ownership. I had no idea how clutch that would be in 2020. Almost daily, I shudder considering how different this pandemic would have been for me 11 years ago when I was a single mom with a four year old living in an apartment with no backyard. My house is small by Utah standards, a 2700 square foot Sugar House bungalow on .14 acres, but it saved my life this year. Having a backyard with a playhouse, swings, slide, hot tub, hammock, mud kitchen, sprinkler mat, and plenty of grass replaced playgrounds, splash pads, and pools for us this summer. Unexpectedly this is also the year that the Utah housing market exploded as people came in droves from higher density, more locked down states. I am so grateful we bought seven years ago because I don't think we could afford to buy in our neighborhood today. 

Monster bubbles, a great gift from Grandma JoAnn

The hot tub. We spent more time here than the previous six years combined. 

The hammock. So happy that 3 and 5 year olds are so easy to entertain.

Our jobs - I am grateful for jobs that allowed Robert and I to work remotely but also allowed him to go into the office when we both needed some quiet time. Many people I know lost their jobs this year, or, like all my teacher and healthcare friends, their jobs became exceedingly difficult.  Our jobs more or less moved onto Zoom and while I wouldn't call it easy, especially with the kids home almost all the time until September, it was safe and manageable. 

Nature - I'll say it louder for the people in the back. THANK YOU, NATURE!!! I know the tagline was "Stay home, stay safe" this year, but in our family it was "Stay outside, stay sane." Even in March and April when we were in complete lockdown, the littles and I escaped into the mountains frequently, often in the snow and ice, to calm our nerves and get energy out. It was actually pretty cool because usually we don't start hiking until May. This year we were able to watch winter turn to spring and frozen waterfalls and streams start to run freely. It was bitterly cold at times but so beautiful. We ran into several moose over the course of the year and my kids learned for the first time how to be quiet for their own safety. Ashton (age 2) made it to the top of a few short trails like Ensign Peak, Noblett's Creek, and Donut Falls. Harper (age 4) made it to the top of Living Room. I made a list of some of our favorite outdoor spots this year for posterity: Hidden Hollow, Ensign Peak, Nobblett’s Creek, Living Room, Lisa Falls, Temple Quarry, Donut Falls, Willow Heights, Silver Lake, Cecret Lake, Mill B South, Desolation Trail to Salt Lake Overlook, Memory Grove, Deer Creek Reservoir, Sugar House Park, Ledgemere, Wheeler Farm, This is the Place, Red Butte Garden. 

Early morning adventure to Deer Creek Reservoir

Donut Falls

Sunflower Fields at Cross E Ranch

Ledgemere

Moose at Willow Lake

Somewhere in the Oquirrh Mountains (not sure I spelled that right)

Silver Lake in Fall

Mill B South to Lake Blanche Trail

Cute children.

One thing I love about hiking with littles is they see beauty everywhere. If you look closely behind Ashton, there are fallen yellow leaves stuck to the rock. Harper and Ashton thought the rocks were full of gold and were yelling, "We found gold! There's gold in them there hills!"

Mill B South

On the way to Donut Falls with Aidan. In case you don't see him, he's behind that tree. 

Tender mercies came in the form of tree swings this year. I don't know why there was a tree swing craze in 2020, but we found dozens on our hikes. Maybe a future goal is to learn how to install them ourselves so we can bring tree swing joy to others. This was a particularly good one in Hidden Hollow.

A gorgeous clear day at the Great Salt Lake. This was early in the pandemic when family car rides were all the rage. 

Frozen waterfall at Hidden Falls

Building snowmen at Silver Lake in April. High elevation and still lots of snow. Harper wanted to wear her Elsa dress and insisted "the cold never bothered her anyway." 

The rare hike with just Aidan.

One of the most magical hikes this year up Little Cottonwood. We had no clue where we were going and kept stumbling across cool structures like the ones in this picture. 

Lisa Falls with all three kids

Bonneville Salt Flats

Blue, calm, and clear. My happy place, Bear Lake.

Online Shopping - This should have been the year to halt spending since we really didn't go many places and no one actually saw us except on Zoom, but the clothing deals were so outrageous this year, I couldn't help myself. 

J Crew dress for $18. Harper took this picture on my 40th birthday

Milestones - There is a line in How the Grinch Stole Christmas where the narrator says, "He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same!" Well, pandemic or not, my kids grew up and hit milestones just the same, a reminder we weren't in a "pause" but that life was simply different. Ashton potty trained and moved from a crib to a bottom bunk. He started preschool, first at an outdoor preschool pod and later at the U of U BioKids. He grew out of the hiking baby backpack and started walking on his own two feet. He learned how to dress himself even though he still prefers that I do it. He started calling himself "Ashton Bruce Cummings" in his quiet and halting way. In the spring, Harper learned how to write her name, and in the fall, she started reading simple books on her own. She changed from a toddler with round cheeks into a lean and athletic five year old who makes up her own yoga poses and jumps fearlessly off the ladder of her top bunk into piles of stuffed animals below. She asks the most profound questions and draws constantly. She's a better listener than she was at 3 and 4, but still prefers to do things her own way, the "Harper way" as she calls it. She moved from a baby carseat into a booster. She's in her last year of preschool at BioKids and is undoubtedly ready for kindergarten next year. Unlike most years when I was physically at work 40 hours a week, I had a birds-eye view of every change, and for that I am profoundly grateful. 

And Aidan started high school! And got braces! Life goes on and my kids are working their way through their respective ages and stages.

Freshman orientation. Salt Lake City School District stayed online in 2020 so we enrolled Aidan at Judge Memorial Catholic High School where he could be hybrid in-person/online. It worked for us, but I know this is an area where thoughtful people disagree on what was right for kids in 2020. For Aidan, this was the right choice. 

Harper's first day of outdoor preschool pod. 

Tending the garden at pandemic pod nature preschool.

Ashton's first day of outdoor preschool pod. The pod only lasted a couple months but it was a pretty fun experiment with some friends, and a wonderful challenge to the way I generally think about education in a classroom. My kids learned about dirt, the phases of the moon, planting, the sun, and all kinds of other outdoor things.

Aidan's 15th birthday at Flemings, our first and last time dining indoors in 2020.

I'll stop here even though this list could go on and on. I wouldn't want to live this year over again, yet I am still profoundly grateful for it. And beyond gratitude, I am hopeful about what's to come in 2021. Happy New Year!