The post about Amy

Of all the things I left in California, I miss my sister the most.

Allow me to explain. My sister is perfect. Okay, maybe not really, because we all know that no one is perfect, but Amy comes as close to it as any human being possibly could. 

I don't mean "perfect" in the plastic, airbrushed Real Housewives of OC kind of way, though she does live in Huntington Beach.  My sister is perfect in the mental, physical, spiritual balance kind of way where she has figured out life and projects this wisdom and calm that seems to elude the rest of us. Everyone likes being around Amy. She always says the right thing. I trust her advice more than anyone else on the planet because her only motivation is to see other people happier and purposeful and because she draws on wisdom and experience carefully cultivated over a lifetime. And yes, she's beautiful to boot. 

Amy

Some quick facts. Amy is three and a half years older than me, and we shared a room our entire childhood. Because of this I am not a believer that every kid needs their own room. Amy has four boys that are smart, handsome, well-behaved, and kind. 

And the little one is squishy. :) 

Amy is a pastor's wife in the most active sense. By that I mean she has a strong presence teaching, serving, and acting as a leader for the women in her church. I don't think she gets paid for this role, but if she cares about that, she's never mentioned it. Serving in the church is as much a part of her identity as being a wife, mom, and sister. 

Amy's husband David: pastor, surfer, father and husband extraordinaire

Amy and David are true Christians. By that I don't mean they go to church every Sunday, tithe, or follow a set of rules, though I'm sure they do these things too. Amy and David live an accepting and charitable life free of dogma or judgement. They LOVE people. A huge part of their job is missions work where they serve people in other countries by digging wells, building playgrounds, and doing vacation bible school for kids in other countries. Their four boys travel the globe with them, serving others and forgoing creature comforts. Their kids don't take hot showers and warm beds for granted because they see abject poverty on a regular basis. I can't even tell you how refreshing that attitude is to see in Orange County kids.

Aidan, Tripp, Bob, and Tanner on the day Curren was born 

So lucky these are my son's cousins

Amy's kids in Utah

Amy's sailboat. Because they're free spirits like that. 

Growing up, Amy and I fought viciously but were also each other's best friends. In a single day we would vacillate between pulling each other's hair and fighting to whispering and talking late into the night. We understood each other so well and had so many inside jokes that someone once commented that if we were stand-up comedians and the audience were made up of just each other, it would be a sold out show every night. 

We think we're funny

I always wanted to be Amy. She naturally had far more confidence than me; whether that's the result of being the firstborn girl or her natural disposition, I can't say. I envied her skinnier legs and smaller nose, and, of course, her cooler friends and elevated social status. I started high school during Amy's senior year and reaped the benefits of being the younger sister of -- from my perspective, but likely true -- the most coveted girl at Venice High School. I was so proud of claiming her as my sister, and, to her credit, she seemed okay claiming me as well. 

Amy and I had our first kids six weeks apart, and for a few years we were living less than ten miles from each other and talking everyday. Those were the toughest years of my life, and I don't know what I would have done without her. My life wasn't going quite as planned, I was lonely in a marriage, and yet it was phenomenal to raise our boys side-by-side and experience motherhood with my sister for the first time. 

Bob and Aidan as babies - 8 months? 

The hardest thing about moving to Utah is knowing that Amy and I won't see each other much and that we won't raise our kids side-by-side. If I have more kids, Amy will always be an aunt in another state. No matter how many cool trips we take together, it's not the same as an everyday relationship, and that breaks my heart. Especially when Amy's kids are SO AWESOME. 

I once read an article that said “Siblings are the only relatives, and perhaps the only people you’ll ever know, who are with you through the entire arc of your life. Your parents leave you too soon and your kids and spouse come along late, but your siblings know you when you are in your most inchoate form.” That quote captures how irreplaceable and unique siblings are. (And yes, Bobby and Johnny, this is true for brothers as well. You'll get your own posts someday.)  Friends are amazing, but siblings know you, the real you from inception to finished product. 

My sister saw me transition from a quiet, bookish kid to a high school jock to a drifting, twenty-something snowboard bum to a mom to a heartbroken divorcee to a happily married, content librarian. And it's not like she just witnessed this stuff, to some degree she shaped these choices with her sound advice and mere presence. I remember sobbing to her when I was sitting in my driveway in Mammoth and hearing her comforting voice tell me I could come home whenever I wanted to. Going through my divorce, I remember her saying that it wasn't my fault, that I tried as hard as I could, and that I would be okay. I believed her because she's good and smart and always tells the truth. And guess what? She was right. 

My parents have done a lot for me but the greatest gift that they ever gave me was siblings. Amy is my best friend and I miss her terribly, but I know I could hop on a plane tomorrow and it would be like no time has passed. 

Bachelorette party at The Shout House - 2011

30th birthday party - 2010

Hawaii with our cousin Julie, who I've also been blessed to know since birth! 

Putting me on the spot - 2011

Wedding - 2011

Family trip to San Clemente - 2014

Thanks, Amy, for always being there and for being you. It kills me that I will never be as good as you, but such is the plight of the little sister. You have always been my example of how to live a good life and have fun in the process. I love you!